A Big Sigh

I went to see the orthopedic specialist this afternoon. He was pleased with how well I can move my hand and wiggle my fingers and such, but says there will still be another four weeks or so of healing time. I'm cleared to go back to work RIGHT NOW, but only for things that do not require the use of my right arm. There is no part of my job that is not incredibly physical and exhausting, but I sure as hell don't want to sit in a cubicle. I'm a little worried they might expect me to do that. I'd rather just spend my time at home with my family. While I'm making less money collecting worker's comp than I would be if I were getting paid, we're ALREADY fucked (financially, and fucked is fucked...a little bit of money isn't going to change it), we may as well enjoy our time. Especially since there is nothing useful I can really do with only my left hand. It would only be something to keep me busy, there's nothing necessary. The office workers (most of them) are unpleasant to deal with, and I was seriously burned out when I broke my arm. There are a lot of problems where I work, so many I could write a book about it. I very strongly believe in what we do, it's just.....the politics. The time off is desperately needed so I can recharge and replenish......

The money shortage is bad this week. We had to replace two dangerously worn tires on our van, among other things which left us with about $15 to last until Thursday. I can't afford to buy my prescription, I will have to be a bad ass until pay day.

Aside from that, I am well rested and decompressed from work, and it feels like my mind is on fire. There are a million things I am ready to do RIGHT NOW.I am especially excited about gardening outside, but I'd also like to cultivate a windowsill garden using kitchen scraps like carrots, celery, potatoes, and maybe a bit of ginger. It would be interesting for my three year old, especially. Also, I want to make some terrariums in empty aquariums we have sitting around.

There's also some pieces of furniture I need to sand and paint. I found these great shelves made of real wood, built like cubbies in a daycare. Five compartments long, so each is about seven feet tall (or long, depending) We have them standing, one on each side of our bed. They are blue, but a blue that just doesn't go well in our bedroom. They are awesome for the books we constantly accumulate....