I've done a lot lately, even with a broken arm. I cut all of the vines off of the fence, they were so overgrown. Some were morning glories, but the rest were just vines. Since I am using the fence to support some of my vegetables, they had to go. The garden will will be more than twice the size of last years, since I am growing so much new stuff, that it is spilling to the other side of the yard, and I'm digging up part of the yard for an herb bed. I haven't even put in the flowers yet. It's a lot, and I'm hoping I can scrape the time up to maintain it all after I go back to work.

I cleaned up part of the alley, cut down some little trees, pulled weeds, cleaned up the fence I share with the neighbor, and put in some vegetables for her. I had extra started plants, so I thought I'd share. We live in the city. Behind our house is an alley, and in that alley are dumpsters. Two, the regular trash dumpster & the yard waste dumpster, are next to our driveway. Not everyone cares if the trash they throw away makes it all the way into the dumpster, and if the yard waste dumpster is full, stuff gets piled around it. We got rid of all of it today. It made a huge difference.

While I've been doing all of this work outside, I've been pretty much neglecting the inside. It's not nearly as easy, enjoyable, or lasting. As soon as I'm done in one room and go to the next, the first room I've cleaned is already a mess. There are always kids and dogs underfoot, and it's annoying when I'm trying to Get Shit Done. Tomorrow is for housework. I will have music, I will have wine, and I will clean. For real this time. A messy, disorganized, dusty house makes me so crabby. It clutters my mind, and makes me feel like I might just suffocate. When everything is clean and organized I am at my very best. I feel cheery and relaxed, and not so stressed out about someone coming over. So! Tomorrow! Cleaning Day!!

Books....

Some of my books, on cheap shelves. 

My biggest problem right now (with the living room, anyway), is the BOOK COLLECTION. At one point we had six full size book cases we had bought from a big box store. They were not 'quality' or even especially attractive, but maybe they passed for a little better because they were black instead of that faux wood finish shit. These six book cases were chock full of books, and there were MORE that would not fit. When we moved our things into storage, three of the book cases did not survive the move. So we were left with three and still had the same amount of books. So then we had BOXES of books. We've since gotten them out of boxes and onto shelves, put in different rooms, and more efficiently stored on shelving.

But there's a lot of them. A normal person would think that maybe it's time to cull and give some away. But I hold onto my books. When I was married to my first husband we lived like gypsies. We'd never live in one house for longer than six months. And every fucking time we moved, the books were something that left behind in a donation pile because they were too heavy. I'd buy books at yard sales, library sales, or thrift shops. I'd read them quickly, so they accumulated quickly. I love books. And I don't like getting rid of them. I love the set of encyclopedias I have from 1943, in near perfect condition. I love the children's books I've managed to hold on to since I was a kid. I have some of Beezus & Ramona books, and also the copy of The Velveteen Rabbit I've had since I was 7 or so. I have some very expensive hardback books, and I have some mass market paperbacks I've gotten second hand.

So, there's a lot of books requiring a lot of space in our small apartment. They're being shifted around while we're working on the living room re-do, and I need some more shelving to house my books, I'm thinking about some kind of Ikea hack, because ging all the way to the ceiling with the books would probably be a god idea................

Living Room, Re-Do Begun

My awesome husband has pulled up the carpet and padding and found already painted hardwood floors. They'll need some sanding and a fresh coat of paint. I was thinking about stenciling the floor, but I'm really not sure I want to do that. It's a definite *maybe*. We painted the living room something called 'Pebble Gray'. It's a little darker than I thought it would be, but I like it very much. The previous color was lavender, which is not for me at all. I let it slide for a long time (almost a year), but I've decided to really put forth some effort into making our house OUR HOME. *EVERYTHING* is getting redone. Anyway, so much of the time I've had plans or ideas for a room, the ideas never become reality. Oh! The MONEY! TIME! DIFFICULT LANDLORD! But this time? Things are happening and that makes me feel SO happy.

The money is not really so much an issue. Although we are so broke it's really very pitiful, I am scouring the internet for ways to do things CHEAPER. I am committed to reusing, repurposing, and when I shop? I will buy used. I am not going to lie, most of what we own is junk and has been through some hardship (moves, dogs, children). It'll take some work to get this place together. but there are great ideas everywhere.

We drank wine and talked until 2AM

Beth and Jesse came over last night. We had serious conversations about all sorts of things, we drank some wine and then we drank some beer, and they stayed until 2AM. Having company is kind of a rare thing at my house. We are always going to other peoples' houses or bars or restaurants. Rarely do we have company. Most of Billy's friends are not so much dog lovers, and we have a lot of dogs. In the case of one couple, the wife is TERRIFIED of dogs, so it is just easier to go there than try to get her to not be afraid of dogs, or leave my dogs crated so they go crazy barking. So we are always going to bars/ restaurants/ movie theaters to hang out with his friends.

My friends are almost all crazy dog people, with a house full of pets and/or children and the accompanying mess. So they are more likely to want to go out rather than stay in. Because having company means a frenzy of housework and a lot of stress.

Anyway, we are always OUT when with friends.

Something I would like to have: COUPLE FRIENDS. We have couple friends, of course. Not very many. His best friend since high school is married, and so of course they are our couple friends. And while I like them okay (but not that much), I would like to have REAL couple friends, in which both of us really like both halves of the other couple and vice-versa. It seems a difficult thing to manage.

Beth & Jesse might be exactly what we need. It is so weird how alike Beth and I are, and how alike Billy and Jesse are. So! Maybe we will, all four of us, be great friends.

I'm scouring the internet for all kinds ideas, we are completely redecorating. I've decided to pull up the living room carpet and paint the floor. It's kind of a big project, and I'm a little intimidated by it, but I hate carpet. I have dogs! and kids! I should not have carpet!

I Miss The Night Sky

Taken from my deck, when we lived in the country...

I miss being able to go out on my deck at night and look for constellations with my kids. I miss the moon.

I miss impromptu bonfires in the back yard, a pack of kids roasting marshmallows and making s'mores.

I miss meeting up with the neighbors in the back yard and discussing the gardens over a beer.

I love the city, but *sometimes* I miss living in the country. I miss being able to see the moon. It was part of Kieran's bedtime routine. We'd go out on the deck, and he'd say "Look! It's the moon!"....every single night.

10 minutes in my head

It was unusually nice today, almost 70 degrees. I'm in Missouri. It's February. I was all O to the M to the G! and opened every window in the house. I did a lot of cleaning because Friday we are having a bunch of people over for dessert and drinks and stuff.

My friends Todd & Mark came over today to bring dinner. It was amazing: a four cheese and mushroom lasagna, salad, a loaf of homemade bread, and caramel brownies. I'm so glad to have such lovely friends.

I'm exhausted. I didn't sleep well AT ALL last night. My arm is fucking killing me, not just where it's broken, but my wrist as well. I took 2 oxycodones and 2 naproxen. I'm not sure if that's a good idea, but it worked like gangbusters. The oxycodone, I've noticed, makes me feel pretty damn cheery. Upon Googling it, I've found it does give people a sense of euphoria. THAT'S why people are all like "Wanna share?". Although I do enjoy the happiness that comes with it, I really need it for the pain. I am not the pill popping just for fun type, nor am I the sharing my prescription drugs type.

I wish I had a book club to join. Some kind of mad rebel insurrectionist kind or book club.

I don't really want to go back to work. At the same time, I want to go back and seriously kick some ass. Because I hear that things are not being done properly. The lives of dogs are in our hands, and there is no place for slackers. Wanna slack? Get a job at fucking MCDONALD'S.

I don't know why I am bothering with a blog. NO READERS. It sucks. No comments for days, which sucks too. It's depressing!

Bits & Pieces

I need to redecorate around here. There's about to be a lot of painting going on. My goal is to buy almost everything second hand. We need some storage furniture because we have one closet in the entire apartment. I am not even kidding. ONE. Anyway, we've been in our apartment for almost a year, and I've never really done anything to make it ours. This comes, I think, of having just been in survival mode. We really haven't had any extra money, we haven't even had enough money. So of course the tax refund check makes me REALLY HAPPY. Effervescent, even. I've been looking for inspiration online and in magazines, and I have so many ideas it's actually overwhelming.

On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, dinner is delivered to my house. A friend of mine put the word out that I had broken my right arm and was unable to do much of anything, so people are chipping in to help out. It's really blown my mind. Some of the people I know, some I only know on Facebook, and some I don't know at all. Tonight a woman I'd never met brought over a beautiful dinner: zucchini Dutch cheese casserole, spinach and strawberry salad, and apple strudel. Each time I am floored, and I just don't think a simple 'thank you' is quite enough. I'm totally taking advantage of this as a way to get some new foods onto our regular rotation because we've been in a total dinner rut lately. When people ask what we want, I tell them to please make something they enjoy making. Anyway, I know some awesome people.

This inability to do things is kind of making me nutty. My typical day starts a 5 AM, throw on some clothes and walk my dogs until 6:30 or 7:00, go to work until 3:30, walk my dogs some more, check over Justin's schoolwork and get him set for the nest day, throw together dinner, make sure all the kids are clean and Cailey's homework is done, do some housework......and on. And on, until about 11:00 and then I can sleep. There's not much sitting and relaxing. Also, with all that walking, I wonder why I am not foxy.

I feel like I am talking to myself on this blog. Am I unreadable? Do I totally suck? What do people like to read about in someone's blog?

A bunny, outside an art studio on my street.